Fonda 500, Seachange, Modal Monks, Sarah Palmer Band @
Cambridge APU SU Bar, Sat 7th August 04

Today I would like to talk about locality and provicialism. I went out of my way to see old 'student faves' Fonda 500 when they were playing a bit up the railway track in Cambridge. I find the APU SU bar after asking directions from a bunch of skate kids drinking underneath a slide, and a couple of foreign students who walk me there because they can’t explain in English. Well done Al! And I was early.

I shouldn't have been. Despite the best efforts of some lovely promoters, the first band are rather bad. I can’t believe how annoying this band is. I was actually moved to write in my note book, “Jesus Christ! I can’t believe how bad this band is!”

The singer might be a student herself, presumably in drama and not in music. She sings about “your beautiful eyes” and waggles her fingers at a bloke in the crowd as if she’s going to poke his eyes right out (which might be preferable). She even scats at one point. With that familiar, la-di-da, Pop Idol-style voice she goes too far and doesn’t know when to stop, while the rest of the band don’t go far enough: too gentle, melodic… too shit. The aged guitarist displays that regular paradox wherein experience doesn’t being improvement in music, and the would-be-emotional wailing doesn’t fit with timid backing. 'Sophisticated passion', you could call it, but that term's a contradiction. And at first I thought it funny!

The review might seem rude, but how rude is this? Asked to finish their set, they refuse to leave the stage and play another overlong song to a fanbase of one. I almost feel like helping them clear away, just so the next band can come on quicker...

The Modal Monks: surely a student band. Two songs are straight rip-offs of the Coral – at least, as straight as a band like the Coral can be – complete with ‘sinister’ little riffs. It’s nice enough, if a bit unnecessary. More shocking is the fact that the singer looks JUST like Vernon Kay, and I think he’s Scottish. Scary.

There’s one song that’s FAR too drawn-out, like a wobbly line that won’t fit on the paper (an exercise for stoners) and then, shit, they sound like they’re bringing out the ballad! Actually it’s an instrumental. Actually it’s not, it’s just got a FAR too long introduction…

Eventually, a band who know what they’re doing, Seachange, on tour from Nottingham. They play music that's a good mixture of intense and tuneful, the singer repeating himself in insistent effect: "it sent shivers... shivers, down my spine!" I've written that it sounds like GYBE! meets ROCK! '40 Days and 40 Nights' is rendered as loose but grand as a song with such a Christ-complex should be. Big and bolshy with an intelligent edge; that effect, I guess, is partly due to their violinist - she plays a pretty mean violin - but one track, minus the singing, sounds more like Belle & Sebastian. It's all good, though they don't know what they're doing quite as well when it comes to introductions, singer-bloke mumbling: “this is the first song from our album, it’s out on Matador..." like the touring's left him jaded, quickly adding, "but we’re a bit more excited about it than that!” They're gracious and good, and have their setlist written on paper plates. I must check out that album on Matador, 'Lay of the Land'...

Also, as an experienced band, they know to leave the stage when they're asked to. Good on you Seachange. I get to see a bit of Fonda 500 before it's time for the last train. "Hello.. this is the next song" says Simon when he first sits down behind his yellow lightbox, and it's true enough. The box might have a picture on it that's impossible to make out, but such obfuscation is normal for them. There's lots of beatboxing too tonight, and a run through such songs as 'Robotic Samba Program', 'Computer Freaks of the Galaxy' and 'Arigato', which titles should indicate the kind of sci-fi indie sound they have; and there's even a rare outing for thirty-second classic 'the Fonda Mobile'. "1, 2, buckle my shoe!" goes another, and it sounds almost disturbingly like Happy Mondays. It must just be the nonsense of their truth.. they are ramshackle, sure, but I'd rather watch an unpretentious knockabout than amateur dramatics, they get people dancing, and on the way out I almost fall on some more foreign students before I make it to the train with ten minutes to spare. That's about a whole EP's worth of Fonda songs!

So I didn’t get to hear if Simon rhymed ‘Super Chimpanzee’ with “Go on Jonee” in order to welcome in brand new guitarist, but the band are always a pleasure, whether or not the song remains the same, and will be Fonda so long as Nick quiffs his quiff and Simon wears his bear hat.

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